Artists in need of press: Read on!

If you're an artist and want a press release or print ad written by me and featured on my blog then get in touch. Once written, you will also be able to use it yourself however you see fit (adding to press kits etc.)

For the time being I'm offering this service for a mere £10.00, so if you've got ten crisp Sterling knocking about then I'm all ears.

Happy listening.

Talcum X 

Justin Bieber - Boyfriend

It is difficult to think of anyone in the entire history of entertainment who has divided public opinion so much. The consensus on Justin Bieber is split between those who adore him, and those who could happily watch him being tortured and not feel a flicker of sympathetic emotion. For many of us, Bieber's one quality seems to be that he is an incredibly good looking young man and that is it. It's all style, not an ounce of substance. Unfortunately though, female children are an impressionable, easily pleased bunch, and many of them also have parents who are only too willing to keep them happy through the medium of their wallets. As long as this remains the case, it seems that the Bieber bandwagon will continue to surge, while the rest of us roll our eyes and grind our teeth down to the gums.

As for his latest "song", Boyfriend the first thing to note is the video. It is just as irksome as one might expect. It essentially features Bieber sitting in expensive cars and dancing around with beautiful women, all the while with a heavily undeserved smile of accomplishment on his face. Any Bieber hater watching this will almost get the impression that the video was deliberately designed to annoy them. It seems to include everything that fans of musical talent and actual, general worthiness hate about him. Furthermore, his repeated smug glances towards the camera only make things worse. Visually then, Bieber's latest single is a spectacular miss. The list of things that would be more pleasant to watch than this is virtually endless. The public disemboweling of a loved one for instance.

So what of the song itself? It's typical Bieber really. Yes the chorus has a hook, but it's more the hook that the woman in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre gets hanged on by Leatherface rather than a hook in the sense of being a good song. The verses are impossibly bland (never mind though. That means less to distract the listener from watching that fantastic video). It is difficult to find any redeeming features in this song, other than that after three minutes and thirty-one seconds, it does end.

Overall then, if you are female and still of an age where Gary Glitter would find you sexually attractive then this is for you. However, for everybody else, stay well away.

Worth a listen? For the most part, good lord no!

Verdict: 1.8/10

Bonjour Artistes!

If you're an artist and want a press release or print ad written by me and featured on my blog then get in touch. Once written, you will also be able to use it yourself however you see fit (adding to press kits etc.)

For the time being I'm offering this service for a mere £10.00, so if you've got ten crisp Sterling knocking about then I'm all ears.

Happy listening.

Talcum X.

Calvin Harris - Let's Go (feat. Ne-Yo)

If there's one thing we can always count on Calvin Harris for then it is an instantly recognisable dance track. The 28 year-old from Dumfries, who once interrupted Jedward during a "live" X factor performance (though, sadly, not with the malicious intent that many of us would have hoped for) has come on leaps and bounds in recent times. He has scored massive hits with Dance Wiv Me, The Girls, and Feel So Close to name a few. His latest offering, Let's Go (feat. Ne-Yo) just about lives up to the now very high expectations.

Unlike many of Harris' previous releases, Let's Go is unlikely to hold much in the way of crossover appeal. This is an out and out dance track with a pounding beat, techno to spare and so suited to the nightclub that it almost creates its own strobe lighting. As a dance number, this is a great effort. Fans of the genre will be bouncing up and down to this all night long. Ne-Yo's vocals compliment the beat nicely and the chorus is distinct, yet not overstated. It has to be said though that non-dance fans will find little enjoyment here. Nobody will hate this song as such, but many are likely to find it fairly forgettable and nothing particularly special.

All in all, your enjoyment of this tune will rather depend on your taste in music, and indeed what kind of person you become when in a nightclub. If you are the type of individual who likes to dance, neck Tequila shots and snog endless strangers of the opposite sex then this is for you. However, if you're the sort who buys a drink, stands around awkwardly and then skulks off to the smoking area whilst desperately trying not to draw attention to yourself then it's probably best to find something else to listen to.

Worth a listen? Very much so, but as far as Mr Harris' collaborations with rappers go, this is a weaker offering than his 2008 effort with Dizzee Rascal.

Verdict: 7/10

Hello Artists!

If you're an artist and want a press release or print ad written by me and featured on my blog then get in touch. Once written, you will also be able to use it yourself however you see fit (adding to press kits etc.)

For the time being I'm offering this service for a mere £10.00, so if you've got ten crisp Sterling knocking about then I'm all ears.

Happy listening.

Talcum X.

Rihanna - Where Have Your Been

As a writer, it is very difficult to find anything to say about Rihanna that hasn’t been said already. Whether you love her or hate her, nearly everybody has an opinion on her. For better or for worse, it is often not the music itself that attracts attention to her, and controversy tends to follow her around like an overly-enthusiastic car salesman. Perhaps this is just part of the parcel when you happen to be one of the biggest pop stars in the world. So what of her latest offering, Where Have You Been?

Well to kick off, nobody can speak of a new Rihanna single without mentioning the video. Comparatively, this one is pretty dry. Don’t get me wrong, she still wears so few clothes in it that any responsible mother would warn her that she’d catch her death if she didn’t wrap up more warmly. However, that aside, it’s fairly uncontroversial. There are no whips or chains and at no point is she tied up, beaten or even abused. Instead, the video starts with her crawling out of a swamp like a hippo on an intense mission (a very aesthetically pleasing hippo at that though). From there, proceedings pretty much degenerate into a perplexing tribal dance routine and a few minutes later the song is over. As videos go it is not bad, but with a Rihanna video you can’t help but want for something that will enrage grumpy Daily Mail readers within the content, and this is sadly lacking here.

As for the song itself it is another of Rihanna’s dance numbers. It is listenable enough but doesn’t really contain any noteworthy hooks or “sit up and listen” moments. It is also quite difficult to make out a clear-cut chorus in this number too, which for a pop song tends to be something of a cardinal sin. In this case, the song doesn’t suffer much from the absence of a big chorus, but one would have been nice nevertheless.

Overall this song is not one of Rihanna’s best. ‘Where Have You Been?’ never threatens the prior brilliance of Disturbia or Russian Roulette, but in my view is certainly a better effort than the ultimately unbearable Umbrella. It is one of those songs that the casual listener is unlikely to remember, but not one that anyone will be banging their head against a brick wall to try and forget.

Worth a listen? I’d say yes, but don’t expect it to blow you away.

Verdict: 6.5/10

Artists! ACHTUNG!

If you're an artist and want a press release or print ad written by me and featured on my blog then get in touch. Once written, you will also be able to use it yourself however you see fit (adding to press kits etc.)

For the time being I'm offering this service for a mere £10.00, so if you've got ten crisp Sterling knocking about then I'm all ears.

Happy listening.

Talcum X