Gary Barlow & The Commonwealth Band - Sing

It seems that the endless adverts, misplaced national pride and disproportionate news coverage were not all that the powers that be decided we needed to endure for the Jubilee. Apparently, we also needed a sickly sweet and distinctly unrousing song to accompany the celebrations too. The man charged with writing this was Take That's Gary Barlow. Teaming up with "The Commonwealth Band" and the Military Wives, Barlow succeeded spectacularly in creating something else that non-Royal fanatics had to desperately blot out.

The song feels like a call to arms for all the sad weirdos who ultimately flocked to Buckingham Palace over the course of the Jubilee weekend. The lyrics may as well say, "Dress up in the Union Jack, Look like Geri Halliwell in drag and waste your day off work." Such people will have been stood outside the palace, humming this tune to themselves and swelling with pride, blissfully unaware that "Her Majesty" and her clan were looking at them as nothing more than common, easily-led plebs and couldn't wait for them all to leave. "Make this moment last forever" are among the many irksome lyrics in this track. I personally rather hope this moment does not last forever, and that Britain will, at some stage drag itself into the 21st Century and acquire an elected head of state.

As well as representing almost everything that is wrong with this country, this song is also massively disappointing. As a republican, I at least wanted to hear something that was undeniably brilliant and that I couldn't legitimately hate even if I desired to. Furthermore, Gary Barlow has such great caliber as a songwriter that he was more than capable of pulling this off. However, with this effort he simply hasn't delivered. The lyrics are unimaginative, the verses are impossibly tuneless and dull and the harmonies in the chorus don't make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up like they are clearly meant to. Finally, the bagpipes towards the end of the song are so tacked on that you can almost see the used roll of sellotape.

As a message to the British public, I hate this song. However, as a song in its own right, I loathe it. Not only is it hideously generic, but it also lauds a British institution that is out-dated, backwards and soaked in blood. There are two questions that this track spawns. Firstly, why did the Facebook campaign to have God Save The Queen by the Sex Pistols as the UK Number One for the Jubilee never get off the ground? And secondly, if this atrocity of a single doesn't make Britain wake up, get rid of the monarchy and elect a president then what in God's name will?

Worth a Listen? Only if you're the sort of moron who bought those special Jubilee collector's coins.

Verdict: 1/10

Katy Perry - Part Of Me

Part Of Me is the latest single from US pop sensation Katy Perry. Most of us cannot help but have a soft spot for this California songstress. Whether it be as a result of the music itself or the fact that she's not exactly an aesthetically displeasing creature, it would only be a terminally embittered specimen with a heart of stone who would have nothing positive to say about her at all. As well as being beautiful, her songs Teenage Dream, Hot 'n' Cold and Firework have rightfully become smash hits in recent times. Best of all, she writes her own stuff. Overall, what is there not to like about her?

Her latest single is, predictably enough an energetic, hook-filled stormer. To note the lyrics, one cannot help but feel as though this is the modern version of I Will Survive. Although Perry herself strenuously denies that this song is a reaction to the failure of her marriage to Russell Brand, this is still a fantastic breakup anthem. Newly-single women across the globe will listen to this track and go, "Hell yeah, I'm with you sister!". With lyrics such as "You can keep the diamond ring, I never liked them anyway, in fact, you can keep everything except for me", nobody could accuse this song of being devoid of meaning or intent.

As for the tune itself, it may not be as catchy as the aforementioned Teenage Dream, but it certainly makes up for it in terms of its energy and its sentiment. Part Of Me is vintage Perry. It is fast, fun, "sit up and listen" pop for the 21st century. This latest offering seems to be irrefutable proof that, at this point in time, the I Kissed A Girl superstar can do no wrong.

Overall though, this song is a tricky one to sum up. When listening to it, one cannot help but feel that it is not quite as good as Teenage Dream or Firework. However, it is only moments after the song ends that the listener realises that the song is now stuck in their heads and they are sub-consciously humming it to themselves. With few exceptions, any song that can achieve this is an undisputed winner.

Worth a listen? Oh yes!

Verdict: 8/10

Calvin Harris - Let's Go (feat. Ne-Yo)

If there's one thing we can always count on Calvin Harris for then it is an instantly recognisable dance track. The 28 year-old from Dumfries, who once interrupted Jedward during a "live" X factor performance (though, sadly, not with the malicious intent that many of us would have hoped for) has come on leaps and bounds in recent times. He has scored massive hits with Dance Wiv Me, The Girls, and Feel So Close to name a few. His latest offering, Let's Go (feat. Ne-Yo) just about lives up to the now very high expectations.

Unlike many of Harris' previous releases, Let's Go is unlikely to hold much in the way of crossover appeal. This is an out and out dance track with a pounding beat, techno to spare and so suited to the nightclub that it almost creates its own strobe lighting. As a dance number, this is a great effort. Fans of the genre will be bouncing up and down to this all night long. Ne-Yo's vocals compliment the beat nicely and the chorus is distinct, yet not overstated. It has to be said though that non-dance fans will find little enjoyment here. Nobody will hate this song as such, but many are likely to find it fairly forgettable and nothing particularly special.

All in all, your enjoyment of this tune will rather depend on your taste in music, and indeed what kind of person you become when in a nightclub. If you are the type of individual who likes to dance, neck Tequila shots and snog endless strangers of the opposite sex then this is for you. However, if you're the sort who buys a drink, stands around awkwardly and then skulks off to the smoking area whilst desperately trying not to draw attention to yourself then it's probably best to find something else to listen to.

Worth a listen? Very much so, but as far as Mr Harris' collaborations with rappers go, this is a weaker offering than his 2008 effort with Dizzee Rascal.

Verdict: 7/10